Got Rid Of A White Guy

Colton was sent packing this week! Which makes me simultaneously super happy and super sad. I grew to like Colton. He was kind of insane and played around a bit. He kept things interesting. But he was also a white dude who fit broadly into the “rock” genre, so I don’t mind getting a little proof that his fanbase wasn’t bulletproof. So, my conflicted farewell song to Colton below.

Got Rid Of A White Guy
Always wearing women’s blouses
And jeans that are too tight
Do you model for Ann Taylor?
What’s up with that skunk stripe?

Playing with hair dye and whiny screams
You tempt Seacrest with wicked things
How did you get voted out now?
What will Lawson write about?

When will we find out where Tim has gone?
Are you a demon or did we get it all wrong?
Whose gonna abuse those flashing lights?
Phillip squared still can’t seem to get dressed right
How’d you lose that fight?

When you jumped on a piano
I wanted you to stay
That says a lot considering
Your perpetually bad hair day

And your emo hiccups sure did grate
But at least you tried to entertain
Although you’re kind of pitchy
You’re miles ahead of P2

Why did your fangirls abandon you?
You’re like Twilight if vampires sang pop tunes
It’s time to go now and say goodbye
But that’s alright because we got rid of a white guy
We got rid of a white guy


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