Archive for February, 2012

They Actually Set Fire To The Rain

The American Idol live rounds are here, everybody!! After what seems like forever, we’re finally at the good part of the show. They have a new, gigantic ridiculously distracting stage that looks like it was modeled directly from X-Factor. I was legitimately excited for this, even though I am not particularly interested in any of the contestants yet. Something about this show just keeps me coming back. It’s laced with crack. Or something equally addicting. Like Nutella.

Anyway, with the live shows comes live judging. In my naivete, I had hoped that the judges would be back this year with a strong fist and critical eye, after lobbing softballs all last year. I don’t know why I hoped this. I clearly don’t learn very quickly. The judges were every bit as unhelpful and pandering this year as they were all last season. Everyone was a beautiful, unique sparkling star that is already a superstar and has a voice sent from the heavens. It was a little nauseating hearing them attempt to one-up themselves in the excessive praise competition. I know J-Lo can be helpful and give pointed critiques. Her face during horrific performances tells me she can. I don’t know why she never actually does it. (Randy and Steven are lost causes, I’m certainly not holding out for a miracle on those fronts.)

On to the boys!
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Top Idol Performances: #45-41

And them performances just keep on comin’! In this installment we look at a whole bunch of big-voiced belters hitting some of the classics and, um, Matt Giraud during country week. So obviously the Matt performances is the highest ranked of the bunch. I hope you weren’t expecting anything else.
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Top Idol Performances: #50-46

We’re finally in the top half of this list! That’s right, baby, top 50, which means if I had made this list a top 50 like I initially planned, I’d be done by now. Damn my misplaced ambition, crippling indecisiveness and paralyzing laziness. Damn it to hell. Anyway, here’s a grab bag set of performances from the very well remembered to the certainly forgotten:
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Top Idol Performances: #55-51

I’m bringing this list back! No one can ever claim I’m a quitter. (They can however, claim I practice necromancy.) The computer I kept the original list on died a while back and I was far too lazy to recreate the entire thing. But I have now recreated it and I think it’s mostly faithful to the original. There are probably a few changes, but no one will ever know about those except for me. On with the list! (And um, what probably will seem to be extremely wacky placings to others.)
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And The Semifinalists Are Finally Revealed (Mostly)

So after what seems like years of bland auditions, people fainting in Hollywood and the Peggi Blu & Heejun Han comedy team, we have finally reached the (hopefully) entertaining portion of American Idol’s eleventh season. Yes, the top 24 has been revealed after three hours of the least glamorous catwalks ever. (For the purpose of this blog, I am going to pretend like there was no twist and we won’t be subjected to the overwrought, atonal screechings of yet another guy next week. Horrible decision, Idol team. Don’t you want a girl to win ever again? Look at how awesome Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood are doing right now with their I-am-woman-hear-me-roar songs. [Ignore how poorly Jordin did with her literal “I Am Woman” hear me roar song. {Woo! Parenthetical statements that go on forever!}])

Anyway, between my shoddy live streams and complete disinterest in the first half of this season, my grasp on this crop of contestants is way worse than it has been in past years. I also have no interest in catching up on everyone because the little I have heard from them has been pretty unspectacular. I have faith, though, that they’ll all be way better in the live rounds and I will have someone to root for. (I already lost my early favorite, Jessica Phillips, this season, so maybe the next person I pick will have a snowball’s chance in hell of making it to the top 10.)

Here are my abbreviated thoughts on the top 24 based entirely off what I can remember about them from just their picture/name.
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