The Voice: They’re Still Battling

The problem with having legitimate star power sitting at your judges/coaches table is that they inevitably overshadow the amateurish (I use the word loosely in light of the years of combined professional experience of the contestants) talent that the show should be focused on. When it comes down to it, The Voice has sub-par talent, a gimmicky format and dragging pacing. But the four coaches still make it an enjoyable viewing experience. Some may argue that certain coaches (or rather, a certain inked coach) provide more entertainment, but I’m almost equally satisfied with all four. They bring what they’re supposed to bring and have not yet devolved into annoying caricatures. Cee-Lo is oddly warm, Blake is surprisingly quick, Christina is Christina Aguilera (no further explanation needed), and Adam is, according to my Twitter feed, the best thing to happen to television, ever. (Really, though, my Twitter feed loves itself some Adam Levine. I’d probably consider it unhealthy if he wasn’t so hilarious and awesome.)

Oh. Right. BATTLE ROUNDS happened and contestants sang! I’m not gonna lie, I missed the first half of the episode and haven’t been able to bring myself to catch up on it. As much as I enjoy the show, I don’t know if I’m going to willingly put myself through two “duets” with four contestants I couldn’t stand the first run through. I guess I’m glad Not Chris Daughtry Who Sang Cobra Starship advanced over Tone Deaf Couple Living In A Basement, but for the most part I think music lost that battle regardless of the outcome. On the flip side, I would have liked Black Afro Dude With White Parents to have beaten Somehow Even Growlier And Shoutier Casey Abrams, but cannot be too sad that at least one of them was sent packing. The battle formula already creates loud, shouty duets that don’t put musicality first, so I’m not entirely sad I missed these two screech-fests.

I did, however, see the last two BATTLE ROUNDS. Adam Levine picked Javier Colon and Angela Wolff to go up against each other on Ben E. King’s “Stand By Me.” I liked both contestants enough to learn their names! Now, Javier was easily my favorite on the audition rounds; his “Time After Time” was the only performance I would consider listening to again. So it was no surprise that I loved him, his cool tone and sweet phrasing again on another laid back number. It was a much bigger surprise that I found myself also rooting for Angela, though. She was nothing particularly special in either of her auditions and was clearly a cut below Javier in their face off. That said, she held her own and was significantly more interesting and radio-friendly than most of the other contestants. It was a shame she had to go so soon. Winner: Javier

In the last battle of the night, Christina Aguilera pit her token guy, Justin Grennan against Beverly McClellan on The Who’s “Baba O’Riley.” Justin Grennan was fodder all along. He’d been given like two seconds of airtime and didn’t sound good for a second. On the other hand, Beverly was hyped up and thoroughly praised for a loud audition of “Piece Of My Heart.” Though, personally, I think both contestants should’ve been relegated to the fodder category. They were both horrifically out of tune. They were both screaming the entire time. Neither paid any attention to the melody of the song. Neither had any sense of timing or dynamics or phrasing. It was like an argument at my house: just keep yelling louder and more obnoxiously and hope that the other person gives in before you do. Musical. Hell. Someone (aka the non-fodder contestant) went through, but good lord, both should’ve been shot on the spot. Executed. Sent straight to the depths of the Earth for their crimes against humanity. Winner: No One, The World Lost

In summary: … contestants? Sorry, I was distracted by Adam Levine.

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5 Responses to “The Voice: They’re <i>Still</i> Battling”


  1. 1 Dea May 18, 2011 at 5:45 pm

    Adam really is best thing to ever grace weekly tv.
    He’s so hot and clever and nerdily funny.
    It should be illegal to be that awesome.

  2. 2 Meyling May 18, 2011 at 6:40 pm

    Hahaaa. I may be in the minority, but I really don’t think this show is all that great. And I really hate the concept of Battle Rounds. Most of these guys sound terrible. Though all of my American Idol hating friends love this show. =/

    That being said, I was really impressed with Javier.

    • 3 jaytak May 18, 2011 at 7:07 pm

      lol I LOVE the concept of the Battle Rounds as a TV show tool. I’m less fond of it as a means to find talent. I just don’t take The Voice as a serious talent/singing competition.

  3. 4 Viv May 18, 2011 at 6:51 pm

    Adam is so hot. I didn’t watch last night, so that’s all I’ve got.

    Don’t bother learning names, your nicknames are so much more convenient. As if I know who the ef Angela Wolff is. But “tone deaf couple living in a basement”? I know EXACTLY who that is.

    • 5 jaytak May 18, 2011 at 7:06 pm

      Angela Wolff was entirely forgettable the first time. idk if you’d remember her if you saw her. Bev was lesbian bald screamer lady. Justin was nonexistent until this week.

      There, all caught up


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