Archive for May, 2011

Top Idol Performances: #70-66

With Season 10 all wrapped up, it’s time to resume (and hopefully quickly move through) the top 100!

Two of these performances are likely going to be considered outrageously low. This is probably made even worse by the fact that two of the people on this update are mostly forgotten now. (One of them is most definitely forgotten, but she shouldn’t be.) Whatever. That’s how I roll. It’ll get even worse when you realize that Jasmine Trias still has a performance to-be-listed. But hey, at least they made the list! I can think of a few performances that would make some top 10 lists that aren’t around at all. On to the killing spree:
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The Best of Idol’s Season 10

Well, we’ve come to the end of another season of American Idol. While I won’t be screaming, “best season ever!!” about it anytime soon, it definitely had its moments. (None of which involved “In It [But Most Definitely Not To Win It]” Randy Jackson or either of his failed sound bite generator associates.) So, without further ado, here are my top tens of Season 10:
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The Idol Finale: Now In Not-So-Live Blog Format

I just finished watching the American Idol finale and thoroughly loved it. Instead of attempting to type up a blog remembering every delectable morsel that happened in the jam-packed 2 hour finale, I decided to just jot down my thoughts as I was watching. So, with extremely minimal editing, here are my thoughts in chronological order.

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The Top 2 Take Risks And Surprise

Just kidding about the title, of course. I just finished an extremely rapid viewing of the top 2 performance show which included liberal use of the fastforward button. (Although, thanks to a new and improved judging format wherein the judges do not judge, much less fastforwarding than it could have been.) What little I did hear from Randy and J. Lo and Steven Tyler was entirely useless and the trio did their best to be irrelevant and misguided even in silence. It’s a good thing J. Lo is so pretty.

Overall, I liked the finale about as much as I enjoy most finales. It was miles ahead of last season’s godawful finale if only for the lack of Lee’s “Beautiful Day” tacked on to the end like a hideous pus-filled blister. (I’d also like to point out that Crystal reached banshee-levels of ear-shattering shrieking at points as well. It was really not a good night for television or music or common decency.) There were no big moments, but rarely are performances during the finale big moments. Fantasia had “I Believe” and one could argue a case for both Kris and Adam, but finales aren’t historically filled with rousing performances. The top two are running around doing just about everything under the sun that there’s not enough time for them to really prepare something amazing. Repeats of performances are never as good as the originals. Coronation songs are always terrible. (In some cases, they at least have the decency to be terribly hilarious.) With that in mind, the night brought relatively few cringe-worthy moments and was mostly entertaining for one reason or another.
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R.I.P. Luke

It is over. The Empire has won.

(This blog brought to you by I’m-on-vacation brevity.)

The Top 3 Are Not Particularly Whelming

I didn’t watch the Idol telecast this week. I was busy being delayed two hours on a two hour flight because the original pilot called in sick and the replacement pilot was stuck watching a man die in Reno. (Okay, maybe all I know is that the pilot was in Reno, but who’s to say he wasn’t watching a man die?) I did catch the first few performances on the actual show and then watched the last five on Youtube. I didn’t bother with any awful filler packages; seeing Scotty’s audition in full for a second time was quite enough for me. Seriously, editors, did you show Scotty and Lauren so much during the first two months of the show that you have no new footage left for us? I mean, we didn’t even see Kris Allen’s or Kelly Clarkson’s initial audition till well after the fact. A little mystery goes a long way, I say.

I also didn’t watch the judging. Why? Because the judging has been entirely inane for the last ten weeks. Without watching, I know Randy said someone was in it to win it, dawg! And Steven Tyler made entirely disinterested, incoherent statements. And J. Lo called someone amazing and wonderful and perfect just the way they were. (Sorry, J. Lo, that song was already written by Bruno Mars.) You’d think not watching the judges would make the experience more enjoyable. To an extent it did, but just knowing they were there and were not Adam Levine was pretty irksome in its own right. It’s like goddamnit Randy Jackson, why do you have to be you and not Cee-Lo or Blake Shelton? Truly a shame.

In a slightly different and much more abbreviated format than usual, I’m going to briefly go over each performance from worst to best. ‘ere goes:
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The Voice: They’re Still Battling

The problem with having legitimate star power sitting at your judges/coaches table is that they inevitably overshadow the amateurish (I use the word loosely in light of the years of combined professional experience of the contestants) talent that the show should be focused on. When it comes down to it, The Voice has sub-par talent, a gimmicky format and dragging pacing. But the four coaches still make it an enjoyable viewing experience. Some may argue that certain coaches (or rather, a certain inked coach) provide more entertainment, but I’m almost equally satisfied with all four. They bring what they’re supposed to bring and have not yet devolved into annoying caricatures. Cee-Lo is oddly warm, Blake is surprisingly quick, Christina is Christina Aguilera (no further explanation needed), and Adam is, according to my Twitter feed, the best thing to happen to television, ever. (Really, though, my Twitter feed loves itself some Adam Levine. I’d probably consider it unhealthy if he wasn’t so hilarious and awesome.)

Oh. Right. BATTLE ROUNDS happened and contestants sang! I’m not gonna lie, I missed the first half of the episode and haven’t been able to bring myself to catch up on it. As much as I enjoy the show, I don’t know if I’m going to willingly put myself through two “duets” with four contestants I couldn’t stand the first run through. I guess I’m glad Not Chris Daughtry Who Sang Cobra Starship advanced over Tone Deaf Couple Living In A Basement, but for the most part I think music lost that battle regardless of the outcome. On the flip side, I would have liked Black Afro Dude With White Parents to have beaten Somehow Even Growlier And Shoutier Casey Abrams, but cannot be too sad that at least one of them was sent packing. The battle formula already creates loud, shouty duets that don’t put musicality first, so I’m not entirely sad I missed these two screech-fests.
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