Top 8 Song Choices: Songs From The Movies

I’m not going to lie. I know even less about movie songs than I do about Rock N Roll Hall of Fame or Elton John songs, which is to say that I know nothing about them. I don’t really watch movies and when I do, the only songs I remember are the ones composed by Alan Menken. (Sidebar: I just went to a showcase for one of my school’s dance groups and the best piece by far was a swing piece set to Disney songs. I have no idea how the dancing was, but really, you can never go wrong with “Zero To Hero.” Seriously. Why haven’t we had a “Disney songs” theme yet on Idol? It’d be perfect. Plus, then I wouldn’t be able to groan at Thia for singing the Pocahontas song.) Anyway, back on point, I’m not really qualified to give song suggestions for this week. But that doesn’t mean I won’t try to, with copious use of Google and Wikipedia.

Before I get to individual suggestions, there are some general things about Movie Night that the Idol contestants would be much better off knowing. (And surely do not know, and surely will repeat because the contestants and producers hate us with a passion.) Movie theme week, which has now been trotted out five times, could just as easily be awful saccharine ballad night. The last two seasons, it’s been terribly mundane with few bright moments. Nailing an uptempo is the easiest way to stand out and avoid viewers booing in your general direction. And at all costs avoid:

Anything in the Bryan Adams catalog: “Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman?” eliminated both Matt Giraud (the second time) and Michael Lynche (also, the second time). It’s a terrible song and no one should be forced to listen to it ever again. Same goes with “(Everything I Do) I Do It For You.” We were oh-so-lucky to be treated to both of these in Season 8’s movie night. They’re terrible and take meandering sap to a whole new level.

The Overdone Three: “I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing,” “Against All Odds (Take A Look At Me Now)” and “I Have Nothing” account for nineteen total Idol performances. I don’t care how good you are on any of these songs, I will hate the performance, and you, on principle. (It doesn’t help that none of the three songs are particularly interesting, either.)

Disney songs: But wait! Didn’t I just pine for a Disney song theme night? Why, yes, yes I did. And while I personally would love it if everyone was like “screw y’all, we’re picking songs about animated talking animals and princesses,” most people would groan at a Disney choice. Plus, “Circle Of Life” and “A Whole New World” have both already been rocked to their fullest on the Idol stage.

“Falling Slowly”: Because Lee Dewyze and Crystal Bowersox own that song on Idol.

Hm. You know what, I’m actually not going to give song suggestions because this is proving to be way too hard. I will just say that Jacob Lusk needs to sing “Not Gon’ Cry” by Mary J. Blige (Waiting To Exhale) because Jacob is spastic and seeing him attempt to out-Mary Mary would be a sight. Also, James Durbin needs to sing “Time For Miracles” by Idol’s one-and-only A. Lambert (such a shame he got eliminated in the semis, right?) because the fallout among the Idolsphere would keep me entertained for months.

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