Top 11 Redux Results and Thia’s Swan Song

So to recap, America hates minorities and women. (Not entirely true, but when the first four boots were all minority women, it does make you go hmmmm.) I’m not going to throw out the racism or sexism card because that does no one any good. But I will say that I’m sad that two more women got axed and that the show will definitely miss at least Naima’s presence in the following weeks. (In other news, I managed to correctly pick the bottom three! I should’ve stuck with my original boots of Thia and Naima but, you know, sometimes you have to believe.)

How amazing was tonight’s results show? I thought it was pretty splendid myself. There were duets! Casey, Paul, Stefano and James being completely out of tune and lackadaisical and showing off no more star power than the average floor of a college dorm. It was completely fantastic in its atrociousness. Then there was Pia and Haley, with Thia on background vocals, singing “Teenage Dream.” I don’t know about you, but I’ve always wanted to be able to type some form of the sentence “Haley singing ‘Teenage Dream'” and now I can. Their voices were terrible together but, look, Pia is current! See! She can sing current songs! Keep her in the competition. Yeah. Jacob and Naima had the best choreography of the night and performed pretty perfectly, I’d say. They threw in a few pointy poses because no one else would. Man, and even though I enjoyed Lauren and Scotty dueting on something country while it was happening, after the rest of that show I can’t even remember what happened. I think it might have legitimately sounded good, but there were no pointy poses and they weren’t singing a Katy Perry song so it’s been buried somewhere.

Then Idol decided it needed to bring two more great performances to its stage. They trucked back will.i.am with Jamie Foxx and the entire contents of the first circus tent they could find. There was no singing, but there was a drumline and Jamie Foxx talking. Of course, their insanity doesn’t really even compare to the level of ugly that the night’s other performer brought to the Idol results stage three years ago. I mean, that performance resulted in one of my favorite Simon moments in his nine years on Idol.

So yeah, Fantasia was back and singing my favorite song from her latest album Back To Me, “Collard Greens and Cornbread.” (It’s a great album, if you listen to Urban radio ever you should check it out.) As always, she rocked it out and left it all on the stage. What made the performance extra special for me was that about halfway through, no lie, I realized I was eating cornbread! She was singing to me. We totally had a special connection. It was magical. If you refuse to listen to “Collard Greens And Cornbread” again, at least go eat some cornbread. But make sure it’s real cornbread and none of that from-a-box-mix stuff.

Results happened. Paul made his first appearance in the bottom three. Thia and Naima got booted. They were running over time so neither got a sing out. It was tragic. So, I’m going to be giving Thia and Naima a sing out this week. (Or, I’m giving one to Thia and if I follow through, I will give one to Naima.)

My goodbye to Thia Megia, set to, what else, the music of “Colors Of The Wind.”

Lyrics:
You sunk yourself the minute you picked this song
And acted like a dead thing dropped on stage
But I’d still rather you be there on Idol
If only it’s just for your rhyming name

It seems from your song choice from the song lists
That the options were slow ballads through and through
But I know from the choices of James Durbin
There was one or maybe two up-tempos too

And I’m sorry you fell victim to the judge’s save
It should’ve been Casey Abrams and not you
Now you’re gone like all the girls who are not white
You don’t get a closing sing out, you got screwed

… (oh and I guess the rabid Kris Allen fan in me needs to mention that he was shown for like two whole seconds sitting in the audience. And he trended on Twitter! If that’s not a sign of the success American Idol brings, I don’t know what is.)

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1 Response to “Top 11 Redux Results and Thia’s Swan Song”


  1. 1 Michelle April 1, 2011 at 3:53 pm

    OMG KRIS ALLEN WAS THERE???


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