Idol in the USA

Woo hoo! Season 10 of American Idol has officially kicked off. There was laughter and joy and tears and hopes and dreams and failures. There was also Steven Tyler and Jennifer Lopez (… and Randy Jackson, but no one noticed). Anyway, here’s the first of what I hope will be many Idol-Recaps-In-Song (or “IRIS”, acronym just for you, Caroline).

(Beautiful, no? Too lazy to do one take to attempt to actually fit the lyrics to the music in the second verse, so you get awkward pacing because it’s better that way.)

Kicked off the start of season 10
With a dramatic judge intro
Gave us Steven Tyler’s melting chin
And “triple-threat” J-Lo
Watchin’ the show without Simon for the first time
Least it can’t be any worse than Idol’s season 9

Steven wants more tone-age
Sippin’ from Paula’s Coke cup
Did you catch that that girl’s only fifteen?
Steven Tyler are you listenin?
Then the show sped through some fodder kids
And the sob story came on
and the sob story came on
and the sob story came on

First was wheelchair kid
Isn’t it sad?
Is he gonna walk again?
Idol saved his legs
It’s just a miracle

Next Kosovo girl
Escaped some wars
Idol made her family safe
Yeah, brought her to the USA
Yeah, cuz that’s just the Idol way

Also saw the bait and switch
With a couple from Crazytown
Completely unhinged but still got picked
Tatiana you better watch out
Found pop music’s next Liza Minnelli
Someone tell Jersey Shore they lost Snooki

And J.Lo could never say no
She even said yes to Gigli, so
It’s possible that she’s maybe not a huge bitch
Somethin’ she’ll just learn to deal with
And then Idol came back after the break
And Yoji Pop was on
And Yoji Pop was on
And Yoji Pop was on

So I put my hands up
He’s singing this song
Followed by a montage
They’re noddin’ their heads like yeah
Movin’ their hips like yeah

So I put my hands up
They’re playin’ my song
I know I’m gonna be okay
Yeah, it’s a party in the USA
Yeah, it’s a party in the USA


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